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Since you've decided to be in a relationship with a pornography addict, I can understand that you would be very familiar with his triggers. However, your assumption that what triggers him must trigger everyone the same way is simply wrong and incredibly short-sighted. I can only imagine what effect this attitude is going to have on your sex life. Your codependency really knows no bounds. Not only have you made the conscious decision to be in a relationship with an addict but you have to project his addictions onto me. Shall we add Messiah complex to your growing list of neuroses that you refuse to do anything about? You're one to talk about boundaries. The one person in the world that you should have boundaries with you decided to marry. And don't think that marrying him is going to make your relationship anything other than the codependent cliché it always has been.You're really one to talk about "real" being on the inside. If you're only as sick as your secrets then you're the sickest person I know. I was wrong when I said that I was the fraud. The real fraud is you. This girl who pretends to be all about self-improvement but does everything she can to avoid it.
It really pisses me off that you said you lost respect for me because I lost my temple recommend. I made a mistake and I voluntarily handed it over to the bishop. And you're hardly one to talk. There's one question on the temple recommend interview which I know you can't answer honestly. "Are you honest in your dealings with your fellow man?" You sure as hell weren't honest with me. You're not even honest with yourself. When are you going to own up to that and hand in your temple recommend and truly repent for the lies you tell and the harm you've caused others?
I don't know anyone who has tried so hard to ignore as many red flags in a potential partner as you have. Any self-respecting woman would have slapped him with a restraining order, not agree to marry him. But, then you need to be in a relationship in order to feel as though you have any self worth, even if it's with someone you don't respect.
"I'm a catch," you once said.
What you are is a pretty girl with some serious problems. And those good looks will not make up for your problems and your unwillingness to truly address those issues, despite your claims to the contrary.
You have telestial beauty in abundance but you lack celestial beauty. You care too much about superficial things. The way things LOOK as opposed to how they are. You once tried to pass judgement on me based solely on my handwriting, citing something called Graphology. why don't you bring my astrological sign into the equation as well? Talk about shallow.
For the record, I tend to write in all capitals just because I'm so used to typing that my handwriting just isn't very good. By writing in all caps, I make sure that what I write by hand is readable.
When you asked where the "Up" house was, I found out with the hope that you and I would see it together. I gave you the info and you took him. I didn't know until after you posted a photograph of the two of you together there. You have no idea how much that hurt me.
I'm still proud of the work we did together. The music video, that SOTV segment. But even when we were working on them I had a fear in the back of my mind that someday we wouldn't be friends anymore and it might hurt to watch them.
I've learned a couple of things from the time I spent in your company. 1) I would much rather be with an celestial honest person than a telestially pretty one; and 2) I will never again lower my standards to be with someone, even as a friend.
In the end, it's you that aren't worthy of my friendship. To you friendship means, "how can I use this person for my own selfish needs." That isn't friendship at all. When I made it clear that I wouldn't allow you to use me anymore, you threw me away like a piece of garbage. You can't treat human beings like that and get away with it and one day you will be held accountable for it.
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