You realize that she's settling for you, right? What do you think an "open relationship" is? She was keeping her options open while at the same time stringing you along and then she decided to settle. I can think of few things that are more disrespectful to another human being, especially from someone claiming to be in any sort of relationship with him.
It's so obvious she doesn't respect you. She doesn't respect anyone. All she cares about is what people can do for her and nothing about what she can do for them in return. That's how self-centered she is.
But let's be honest. You don't respect her either. If you did, you would have accepted "No" for an answer and left it at that. But you didn't which speaks volumes about your own selfishness. Not to mention the fact that you always knew she would come crawling back after every time she broke up with you. All you had to do was wait. This also speaks to your complete lack of self respect. Anyone with an ounce of self respect wouldn't have put up with her mind games and her "come here, go away" attitude.
The more I look at your relationship, the more I see it as based on mutual disrespect. I also think that one of the reasons she's even with you is because you're one of the few men she's met who has lower self esteem than she does.
That's the main difference between you and me. I respect myself too much to allow myself to be used by her. I told her that I felt used by her and that I'm not willing to put up with it anymore. Once she knew that, she ended what was left of our friendship, which just goes to show that she wasn't a friend anyway. Once she knew that she couldn't use me anymore, she threw me away because she has no respect for other human beings or anyone that can't do things for her. She's a user.
You're probably still thinking that I'm jealous of you. I certainly am not. Because in order for me to be in any sort of relationship with her, I would have to seriously lower my standards... and I'm just not willing to do that.
I used to think that she was too good for you... now I realize that you could do a lot better if you actually felt that you deserved it. Apparently you think you need to suffer to be in a relationship. Why else would you put up with all of her abuse and bullshit?
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Hers
This is random. It's all random. I just write as it comes up to get it out of my system.
You're really one to talk about "real" being on the inside. If you're only as sick as your secrets then you're the sickest person I know. I was wrong when I said that I was the fraud. The real fraud is you. This girl who pretends to be all about self-improvement but does everything she can to avoid it.
It really pisses me off that you said you lost respect for me because I lost my temple recommend. I made a mistake and I voluntarily handed it over to the bishop. And you're hardly one to talk. There's one question on the temple recommend interview which I know you can't answer honestly. "Are you honest in your dealings with your fellow man?" You sure as hell weren't honest with me. You're not even honest with yourself. When are you going to own up to that and hand in your temple recommend and truly repent for the lies you tell and the harm you've caused others?
I don't know anyone who has tried so hard to ignore as many red flags in a potential partner as you have. Any self-respecting woman would have slapped him with a restraining order, not agree to marry him. But, then you need to be in a relationship in order to feel as though you have any self worth, even if it's with someone you don't respect.
"I'm a catch," you once said.
What you are is a pretty girl with some serious problems. And those good looks will not make up for your problems and your unwillingness to truly address those issues, despite your claims to the contrary.
You have telestial beauty in abundance but you lack celestial beauty. You care too much about superficial things. The way things LOOK as opposed to how they are. You once tried to pass judgement on me based solely on my handwriting, citing something called Graphology. why don't you bring my astrological sign into the equation as well? Talk about shallow.
For the record, I tend to write in all capitals just because I'm so used to typing that my handwriting just isn't very good. By writing in all caps, I make sure that what I write by hand is readable.
When you asked where the "Up" house was, I found out with the hope that you and I would see it together. I gave you the info and you took him. I didn't know until after you posted a photograph of the two of you together there. You have no idea how much that hurt me.
I'm still proud of the work we did together. The music video, that SOTV segment. But even when we were working on them I had a fear in the back of my mind that someday we wouldn't be friends anymore and it might hurt to watch them.
I've learned a couple of things from the time I spent in your company. 1) I would much rather be with an celestial honest person than a telestially pretty one; and 2) I will never again lower my standards to be with someone, even as a friend.
In the end, it's you that aren't worthy of my friendship. To you friendship means, "how can I use this person for my own selfish needs." That isn't friendship at all. When I made it clear that I wouldn't allow you to use me anymore, you threw me away like a piece of garbage. You can't treat human beings like that and get away with it and one day you will be held accountable for it.
------------------------------
Since you've decided to be in a relationship with a pornography addict, I can understand that you would be very familiar with his triggers. However, your assumption that what triggers him must trigger everyone the same way is simply wrong and incredibly short-sighted. I can only imagine what effect this attitude is going to have on your sex life. Your codependency really knows no bounds. Not only have you made the conscious decision to be in a relationship with an addict but you have to project his addictions onto me. Shall we add Messiah complex to your growing list of neuroses that you refuse to do anything about? You're one to talk about boundaries. The one person in the world that you should have boundaries with you decided to marry. And don't think that marrying him is going to make your relationship anything other than the codependent cliché it always has been.You're really one to talk about "real" being on the inside. If you're only as sick as your secrets then you're the sickest person I know. I was wrong when I said that I was the fraud. The real fraud is you. This girl who pretends to be all about self-improvement but does everything she can to avoid it.
It really pisses me off that you said you lost respect for me because I lost my temple recommend. I made a mistake and I voluntarily handed it over to the bishop. And you're hardly one to talk. There's one question on the temple recommend interview which I know you can't answer honestly. "Are you honest in your dealings with your fellow man?" You sure as hell weren't honest with me. You're not even honest with yourself. When are you going to own up to that and hand in your temple recommend and truly repent for the lies you tell and the harm you've caused others?
I don't know anyone who has tried so hard to ignore as many red flags in a potential partner as you have. Any self-respecting woman would have slapped him with a restraining order, not agree to marry him. But, then you need to be in a relationship in order to feel as though you have any self worth, even if it's with someone you don't respect.
"I'm a catch," you once said.
What you are is a pretty girl with some serious problems. And those good looks will not make up for your problems and your unwillingness to truly address those issues, despite your claims to the contrary.
You have telestial beauty in abundance but you lack celestial beauty. You care too much about superficial things. The way things LOOK as opposed to how they are. You once tried to pass judgement on me based solely on my handwriting, citing something called Graphology. why don't you bring my astrological sign into the equation as well? Talk about shallow.
For the record, I tend to write in all capitals just because I'm so used to typing that my handwriting just isn't very good. By writing in all caps, I make sure that what I write by hand is readable.
When you asked where the "Up" house was, I found out with the hope that you and I would see it together. I gave you the info and you took him. I didn't know until after you posted a photograph of the two of you together there. You have no idea how much that hurt me.
I'm still proud of the work we did together. The music video, that SOTV segment. But even when we were working on them I had a fear in the back of my mind that someday we wouldn't be friends anymore and it might hurt to watch them.
I've learned a couple of things from the time I spent in your company. 1) I would much rather be with an celestial honest person than a telestially pretty one; and 2) I will never again lower my standards to be with someone, even as a friend.
In the end, it's you that aren't worthy of my friendship. To you friendship means, "how can I use this person for my own selfish needs." That isn't friendship at all. When I made it clear that I wouldn't allow you to use me anymore, you threw me away like a piece of garbage. You can't treat human beings like that and get away with it and one day you will be held accountable for it.